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All reviews - Movies (1)

Why can't I give this a zero?!

Posted : 9 years, 5 months ago on 5 February 2009 06:55 (A review of Interceptors (1999))

Interceptors (sometimes called Interceptor Force) may not be THE worst movie ever made, but it's pretty bad. It's not bad in a good way, or bad in a funny way, or bad in a low-budget-remake-of-Titanic-with-Barbie-dolls kind of way. Instead, it's so bad that, when the climactic nuclear blast ends with even nearby haystacks still standing, it's one of the movie's highlights. Compared to the rest of the cast (excepting Dourif), Olivier Gruner seems like a master thespian. The lone female character with significant screen time appears to spend most of that screen time running around in tight clothing and being obnoxious. But wait! Does that suggest titillation for the T&A crowd? No!

In the end, the few points in the movie where I did not want to gouge out my eyes mostly involved accidental humor: strange extras just showing up out of nowhere, oddly placed props, and a bunch of men firing incessantly at an invincible alien. There is, somewhere, a plot. It mostly consists of sending a team to investigate a crash, having Gruner randomly kick a few people, and then blowing everything up - everything, that is, except the haystacks.

Next time you need to send someone a message, don't use a horse's head: try Interceptors instead.

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